Disappointment is a familiar word, sadly, for far too many of us. And I don’t mean the small everyday frustrations, like when your favourite coffee sells out, or the weather ruins a good hair day. I’m talking about the kind of disappointment that doesn’t just sting
It shakes you to your core.
The kind that leaves a mark you know will become a scar.
The kind that changes how you see people… and sometimes, how you see yourself.
These are the disappointments that come from places and from people you never imagined they could. The ones that blindside you when you least expect them. The kind that finds you no matter how carefully you try to protect your heart.
There are disappointments we almost expect, and somehow those are easier to accept. But the ones that come from where we felt safe, loved, or secure, those are the ones that leave a deeper ache. Those are the ones that linger in the quiet spaces of your mind.
And if I’m honest… I’ve had more than my fair share of those.
After enough of them, you start asking questions.
You start wondering how to shield yourself.
You start asking:
What part of this can I control?
How do I stop disappointment from breaking me every time?
At first, the obvious answers show up
Stop caring. Shut down. Build walls. Expect less. Stay guarded.
But those aren’t solutions.
They’re just survival tactics that eventually turn into self-poison.
Numbing yourself doesn’t stop disappointment, it just stops you from feeling anything.
And that’s too high a price to pay.
Somewhere along the way, I realized the real work isn’t avoiding disappointment —
It’s learning how to hold yourself through it.
It’s self-love, even when your heart feels bruised.
It’s compassion for yourself instead of self-blame.
It’s knowing your worth doesn’t shift just because someone else failed you.
It’s building boundaries made from self-respect, not fear.
It’s recognizing that disappointment doesn’t define you
It simply reveals what (and who) no longer belongs in your life.
Sometimes disappointment takes something from your trust, expectations, and illusions, but it also gives something back:
wisdom
clarity
resilience
strength you didn’t know you had
We don’t walk through these moments unchanged, and maybe we’re not meant to.
Because every time we walk through the fire, we learn a little more about ourselves.
We learn what we deserve.
We learn what we will no longer tolerate.
We learn how to stand back up even when our knees still feel weak.
And over time… the fire doesn’t scare us the same way.
Not because we’re numb but because we’ve proven to ourselves that we can survive it.
The next disappointment may still hurt, but it won’t break you the way it once did.
You’ll recognize the warning signs sooner.
You’ll protect your peace faster.
You’ll remember the strength you earned the last time you rose.
Because you’ve already walked through the flames…
and you came out stronger.
And that strength?
That scar?
That resilience?
That is not weakness.
That is evidence that you survived what was meant to destroy you — and you are still here.
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